Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Randomize
