so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
