Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
