Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
