a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize