You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
