What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
