How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
23 Ladies Who Have Mastered The Art Of Squirting
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch