you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize