girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize