i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
