I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
