Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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