Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Semen is not good for contacts.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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