It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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