He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
