I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize