just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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