he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
