Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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