your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize