dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i think i have herpe
just one?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
