remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
