It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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