this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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