dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
