So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
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What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
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I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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