i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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