Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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