Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
