but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
