they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Randomize
