that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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