Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
