did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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