i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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