ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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