watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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