grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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