We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
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I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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