she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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