she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
