do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
