i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
