Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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