That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
