Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize