i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
