new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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