Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
