Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize