Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
