More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
