he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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