none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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