apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize