your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
