My nipple is on Facebook.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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